‘Ghosted 30 Minutes Prior to First Date’ : Guy Alludes to Veiled Intentions, Woman Clarifies Wanting to Take Things Slow, Leading to Radio Silence and Tears

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/orchid-bouquet 18 hours ago 2 I got stood up on a date because I told him I didn't want to hook up. Support
  • 02
    Font - I recently got on Hinge after coming out of a three year relationship. I met a guy with whom I had a really good connection, and after talking for a few weeks, we made plans to meet. I was really excited; this was my first date since my breakup. I got all dolled up and wore my favorite dress for the first time in a while.
  • 03
    Font - About 30 minutes before our date, he texted that he was about to be on his way. He then made an innuendo and because I really value clear communication, I used this to clarify that I wasn't looking to hook up on the first date & that we should get to know each other more before we do anything physical.
  • 04
    Font - He stopped replying. Immediately. No texts after that, no replies to my subsequent texts asking if he were on his way, no answer when I asked him if our date was cancelled. He didn't even bother coming up with a last minute excuse to save face.
  • 05
    Font - I cried in my makeup and the dress I was so excited to wear. This was the first time I've ever tried to date online. Admittedly, my heart was still a little fragile after my breakup. Still, I've never had anyone be this blatant about how they wanted to use me.
  • 06
    Font - I feel so discarded and reduced to my ability to "provide" se This happened last night and I still feel so awful. What if something like this happens again? I am still young and immature so this bothers me more than it should, but I feel so badly about myself right now.
  • 07
    Font - 1aurenb_ 18 hr. ago Something like this will most likely happen again. Welcome to the dating apps, they're horrible.
  • 08
    Font - But guys like this are a blessing in disguise. He saved you from wasting a night sitting with him and then having him awkwardly come on to you and possibly making you feel unsafe or even attempting to do something without your consent.
  • 09
    Font - Procris 8 hr. ago I mean, the best possible outcome would have been to have him be equally forthcoming about his goals and say something along the lines of 'aw, snap. I was really
  • 10
    Font - hoping to hook up. It looks like we're looking for different things. Sorry I don't want to waste your time, I hope you have a good evening doing something else.' (I agree, this is probably the best outcome to be expected, but I live in hope sometimes...)
  • 11
    Font - discontent_creator. 13 hr. ago Better not to meet him at all then meet him and say, you really like him, and he starts playing that game that those ones do and really hurts you. 182 Reply Share
  • 12
    Font - Juxtaposed_Reality · 14 hr. ago This, exactly. I feel terrible for you, but he took the trash out quite tidily for you. No having to figure out how to be safe, no guessing about his intentions. He's an ass, but at least you didn't
  • 13
    Font - waste that evening on him, and maybe that means the next time you wear that dress will be for a guy who's actually worth your time. ✩ 240 Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - shesprague23 17 hr. ago · I know this feels awful but what happened was that you successfully set your boundary and this guy dipped out because he wasn't interested in respecting that boundary. He
  • 15
    Font - was totally immature to ghost you, and it sucks that he made you believe he was interested in you as a person. But what happened here is that you stood up for yourself and protected yourself. That's not always easy as a young woman so you should feel proud. It's
  • 16
    Font - totally fair to be upset too, but honestly i wish i could have been more like you when I was younger. 4 2.0k Reply Share
  • 17
    Font - dream_a_dirty_dream 17 hr. ago I know you feel hurt, and it is very valid...but I'm proud of you OP, and you should be too. You set firm boundaries, and clear expectations.
  • 18
    Font - Do you know how hard that is? DOUBLE DOWN ON IT. I read so many heartbreaking post a day precisely because this doesn't happen. You may not see it rn, but what you did for yourself is better than any date or relationship.
  • 19
    Font - You saved yourself from SO MANY THINGS! You saved yourself from wasting time, and maybe even a more upsetting situation. You're a rockstar! I hope you see this soon 285 Reply Share

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